The night before last, I couldn't sleep. I fell asleep at 9, woke up at 11, and played all night long. Watched some TV, surfed the net, made a sandwich at 2 a.m...

Last night, it caught up with me. I fell asleep just after 7, and this morning, I woke up at 6:30--only because my alarm told me to. I could still be sleeping. Yawn.

This kind of thing often happens to me before a big event. For about 2 weeks before I got married, I could only sleep a couple of hours a night. My mind never stopped working, and even when everything on my to-do list had been accomplished, my mind raced.

So, I'm 4 days out. In 96 hours exactly, I'll be in the doctor's office waiting for transfer. I'm such a mixed-up bag of emotions. Excited, scared, all of it. Now that things are moving forward, they are really moving forward. Every time we've moved down an avenue, it has been full of roadblocks. So of course, after 6 years of this, I'm expecting them! It's hard for me to believe that every time my nurse calls, she tells me my ultrasounds and estradiol levels are perfect. She tells me to proceed as directed. She tells me that things are right on schedule. I'm thankful, but I'm cautious. A lot can happen in 96 hours.

I start my progesterone shots tomorrow. I have to take them twice a day, which I think is my doctor's way of torturing me. Seriously, the last time I took them (it's been 2 whole years), it was just once a day, and I cried every.single.time. My poor husband--we both dread them. But it does mean that we're moving closer to our goal, and that's what I have to keep at the front of my mind.

Pray for our embabies. 8:45 (est) on Tuesday, they'll make their debut. They'll get their chance. I hope hope hope. For them. For me. For us.

I'm completely incapable of managing this new blog. I visit other people's sites and can't leave comments. This site doesn't seem very user friendly. What's up with that? Or maybe I'm just retarted (it's possible).

I went for my suppression check this morning. My doctor said he thought everything looked like it was in order, but I had to wait for word from my nurse at the other clinic. I also got my blood drawn. As used to needles as I am, I still can't look when they do it. I get a lump in my stomach when I try--and I feel kind of woozy. Isn't that so silly? And by the way, you're supposed to be able to give yourself the lupron injections that I'm taking, and every night I still have my husband do it. Ha! Such a chicken. How do I expect to get through a pregnancy and labor? By the grace of God...

Anyway, my nurse did call. My estradiol level needed to be below 150, and it was 31. She actually used the word "perfect!" I couldn't believe something was actually going WELL. Yay! Even though it's taken ages to actually get to this point, it seems like things are falling into place really well. That encourages me about the final outcome. I'm so hopeful!

I start my Estrace (estrogen) on Halloween. Next step, here I come.


7 shots down. I can't belive time is marching forward so quickly. Transfer will be here before I know it. Wow!

Intro

Hello, Blogspot.

I'm a veteran blogger, but I've never had a blog on this site. I actually feel very much like a traitor--using this site after blogging for 4 years on another one...

Regardless. Here's my introduction:

I'm 30. I've been married for 9 years, and we've been trying for a baby for 6. After 13 rounds of clomid, one IUI cycle with injectables (which ended in the ER in hyper-stim and ruptured cysts), 2 laps (one in Feb of this year, the other in August--which claimed my left ovary), endometriosis, and years of heartache, we filed for adoption. We have adopted embryos (11! I'm thrilled!), and our first FET is November 17. I'm currently on lupron injections, awaiting my first suppression check on Thursday. Should our embabies not take, we are also on the waiting list for a normal domestic adoption (and have been since August of 2008).

Hoping for the best, clinging to hope, growing in faith. That's me.