Friday, November 13, 2009

The night before last, I couldn't sleep. I fell asleep at 9, woke up at 11, and played all night long. Watched some TV, surfed the net, made a sandwich at 2 a.m...

Last night, it caught up with me. I fell asleep just after 7, and this morning, I woke up at 6:30--only because my alarm told me to. I could still be sleeping. Yawn.

This kind of thing often happens to me before a big event. For about 2 weeks before I got married, I could only sleep a couple of hours a night. My mind never stopped working, and even when everything on my to-do list had been accomplished, my mind raced.

So, I'm 4 days out. In 96 hours exactly, I'll be in the doctor's office waiting for transfer. I'm such a mixed-up bag of emotions. Excited, scared, all of it. Now that things are moving forward, they are really moving forward. Every time we've moved down an avenue, it has been full of roadblocks. So of course, after 6 years of this, I'm expecting them! It's hard for me to believe that every time my nurse calls, she tells me my ultrasounds and estradiol levels are perfect. She tells me to proceed as directed. She tells me that things are right on schedule. I'm thankful, but I'm cautious. A lot can happen in 96 hours.

I start my progesterone shots tomorrow. I have to take them twice a day, which I think is my doctor's way of torturing me. Seriously, the last time I took them (it's been 2 whole years), it was just once a day, and I cried every.single.time. My poor husband--we both dread them. But it does mean that we're moving closer to our goal, and that's what I have to keep at the front of my mind.

Pray for our embabies. 8:45 (est) on Tuesday, they'll make their debut. They'll get their chance. I hope hope hope. For them. For me. For us.